My Sacred Life - Day 26

Going with the flow
So, this morning a routine oil change went from $35 to $284 when I found I needed 2 new rear tires... eep. I'm just happy that I have it covered and a little left for any other surprise that may pop up. While waiting for the work to be done, I walked up and down the mall, something I rarely do. I am not crazy about shopping malls. I've never been one to subscribe to designer names or trends. I'm quite comfy in my jeans and tee shirt, usually from Costco or on a sale rack! So... really, there's not a lot in malls that make me go WHEEEEE... aside from the quat coffee caramel bomb that make me resemble a muppet on drugs! It was nice though, quiet Sunday morning... was actually kinda fun to my surprise.
I snapped this photo of the carousel. I haven't been on one in ages and probably don't see myself on one anytimes soon - but it made me smile. I use to love the carousel when I was little... and seemed to be drawn to it anytime at the fair or amusement park. I guess the still draw me in and catch my attention. :)

Not at all how I remember it but always appreciated the twist...

Carousel - Siouxsie and the Banshees

You clamber up
And look behind
Their watchful eyes
The helping hands
A hen that's fierce
And painted blue
With red eyes
Wants to swallow you
A dragon dives and soars on tracks
The hands that strap you to its back
You turn around and look behind
Their smiling eyes
Won't help you down
Their tiny hands
Their tiny feet
Such little hearts
To miss a beat
Grotesque dwarves in mirrored rooms
Pulled and taut a thousand yous
Staring back through stinging tears
Remembering those funhouse thrills
The paintbox tunes and wild balloons
Their watchful eyes, you start to swoon
Oh painted vile in lurid hue
The snarling horse that waits for you
Its motor whirrs and colours curl
Inside your head the monsters whirl
Its motor whirrs and colours curl
Inside your head the monsters whirl
In sucked out
Time stood still
Roundabout back
Carousel
Time stood still
And you remember it well
Carousel

My Sacred Life - Day 25

Dessert from Whole Foods!
Sometimes you just have to splurge. I LOVE Whole Foods but their name should probably be Whole Paycheck! Sometimes ya just have to go anyway...
I spent the day unwinding after a long week... one that seemed to last twice as long as it should - not bad mind you, just long.
I returned some books to the library and stocked up on a new pile of cookbooks to oooh and awe at.
I spent the late afternoon at Beverly's Fabrics customer appreciation day. The line went around the store which made me giggle a bit and had some nice conversation with a few ladies in line with me. There was such a line that there were a few employees with baskets of cookies and bottled water. After 15 minutes in line, I got in... and then realized that the checkout line wrapped around the back of the store... so, my battle with patience kicked my butt. I left shortly after and consoled the loss of 40% off with a trio of deadly yummies... coconut tapioca pudding, vegan chocolate mousse and mixed berry scones by sconehendge... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, bliss.
Actually, I had planned on the coconut tapioca but somehow, the idea of consolation for not shopping takes the bite out of disregarding my diet. hehehehehe
I'm all for calorie free days... just not too often. :)
Tonight... I have some crafting time set aside and some reading... and I think a long hot bath.


Mr Blue - Yazoo

Winter sounds the crying
Like an old man slowly dying
And the only sound, the wind that fills the trees
Even colder comes the moon
And though it never seems too soon
A sudden stillness as the rainfall starts to freeze
I'm Mr. Blue
I'm here to stay with you
And no matter what you do
When you're lonely - I'll be lonely too
A young girl, she is shaded
Bears the scars that never faded
Of the baby that was born on Christmas Day
While the heavens sing their song
A child's life is never long
'Cos the food supplies will only last a day
I'm Mr. Blue
I'm here to stay with you
And no matter what you do
When you're lonely - I'll be lonely too
Patriot emotion, is the cause of the commotion
After all there's really no-one here to blame
Soldiers taking orders, 'cos we must defend the borders
Of our nation (and the other side's the same)
I'm Mr. Blue
I'm here to stay with you
And no matter what you do
When you're lonely - I'll be lonely too
I'll come to you at night
When all the world is sleeping tight
And lie beside you, 'til the early morning dew
You can't hear me, you can't see
But you can feel me when you read
The folded letter she left addressed to you

My Sacred Life - Day 24

Rumi as translated by Maryam Mafi & Azima Melita Kolin

Invoking Your name
does not help me to see You.
I'm blinded by the light of your face.
Longing for Your lips
does not bring them any closer.
What veils You from me
is my vision of You.


The Friend who cannot be seen is the most
subtle and precious.
The work that cannot be seen is the most
refined.
The cleaverest of all is the one who does not
deceive himself
for he has deceived deceit.


Seek the wisdom
that will untie your knot
seek the path
that demands your whole being.
Leave that which is not, but appears
to be
seek that which is, but is
not apparent.


When you see the face of anger
look behind it
and you will see the face of pride.
Bring anger and pride
under your feet, turn them into a ladder
and climb higher.
There is no peace until you become
their master.
Let of of anger, it may taste sweet
but it kills.
Don't become its victim
you need humility to climb to freedom.


I said what about my eyes?
"Keep them on the road."
I said what about my passion?
"Keep it burning."
I said what about my heart.
"Tell me what you hold inside it?"
I said pain and sorrow.
He said:
"stay with it"


I was going to tell you my story
but waves of pain drowned my voice.
I tried to utter a word but my thoughts
became fragile and shattered like glass.
Even the largest ship can capsize
in the stormy sea of love,
let alone my feeble boat
which shattered to pieces leaving me nothing
but a strip of wood to hold on to.
Small and helpless, rising to heaven
on one wave of love and falling with the next
I don't even know if I am or I am not.
When I think I am, I find myself worthless,
when I think I am not, I find my value.
Like my thoughts, I die and rise again each day
so how can I doubt the resurrection?
Tired of hunting for love in this world,
at last I surrender in the valley of love
and become free.


Hidden from all
I will speak to you without words.
No one but you will hear my story
even if I tell it in the middle of a crowd.


I have come to drag you out of your self
and take you in my heart.
I have come to bring out the beauty
you never knew you had
and lift you like a prayer to the sky.
If no one can recognize you, I do
because you are my life and soul.
Don't run away, accept your wounds and
let bravery be your shield.
It takes a thousand stages
for the perfect being to evolve.
Every step of the way I will walk with you
and never leave you stranded.
Be patient, do not open the lid too soon
simmer away until you are ready.
In this game I make the rules.
I roll you like a ball and chase you
when I choose.


In a dream my lover came
searching through my body
for the state of love.
When he could not find it
he drew his dagger and stabbed
my heart.


I am in love not only
with his smile and radiant face
but also with his wrath and contempt.
He has asked for my head
I do not care if I lose it
what makes me ecstatic is
Him asking.


Why are you so afraid of silence,
silence is the root of everything.
If you spiral into its voice
a hundred voices will thunder messages
you long to hear.


Your generosity is vaster than the sea
it does not wait for tomorrow.
No need to ask You for anything.
Does anyone ever ask the Sun for light?


I am the spirit moon
with no place.
You do not see me for I am hidden
inside the soul.
Others want you for themselves but I call you
back to yourself.
You give me many names but I am
beyond all names.
Sometimes you say I am deceitful
but as long as you are
I will be too.
Until you remain blind and deaf
I will be invisible.
Iam the garden of all gardens
I speak as the King of all flowers
Iam the spring of all waters.
My words are like a ship and the sea
is their meaning.
Come to me and I will take you
to the depthds of spirit.


GHAZAL (Urdu poetry by Sauda) - Niyaz

Your heart cannot be won by me
nor can my soul bear this restlessness.
Need is a burden which cannot be revealed
therefore I remain silent.
Whenever you are before me
my eyes fill with tears that are unable to flow,
like an ocean that stands still
at the sight of you passing by

I was able to see Niyaz with the Goddesses of my life, my sisters, in Seattle a few years ago. They blend contemporary and traditional styles with many of the songs based on the works of Rumi. You can find more info at niyazmusic.com

My Sacred Life - Day 23

Woohooo - Alligator CD holder!

Amazing what you find when you aren't looking for anything in particular. I went to Target the other day to stock up on some blank CDs and saw this little fellow. I found a home for him on my printer for when I'm working on files... he holds all my current favorite tunes (which change regularly!)
I really enjoy things that are different. Things that make you smile or laugh for no reason... these things are little angels that can make a day.
Probably off to make more CDs so he can chomp on a new set.

Also - just wanted to throw this out. I've had a few comments on the lyrics and music choices I add for my daily song. I am constantly making copies of tunes I collect and if anyone would like a random CD... and if you feel comfy, email me a mailing addy and I will put something together just for you. You can email me at wildgod13@comcast.net.
I think music is an interesting medium to get to know people and share views.


Time To Say Goodbye - Sarah Brightman (feat. Andrea Bocelli)

Quando sono sola
sogno all'orizzonte
e mancan le parole,
si lo so che non c'è luce
in una stanza quando manca il sole,
se non ci sei tu con me, con me.
Su le finestre
mostra a tutti il mio cuore
che hai accesso,
chiudi dentro me
la luce che
hai incontrato per strada.
Time to say goodbye.
Paesi che non ho mai
veduto e vissuto con te,
adesso si li vivrò.
Con te partirò
su navi per mari
che, io lo so,
no, no, non esistono più,
it's time to say goodbye.
Quando sei lontana
sogno all'orizzonte
e mancan le parole,
e io si lo so
che sei con me con me,
tu mia luna tu sei qui con me,
mio sole tu sei qui, con me,
con me, con me, con me.
Time to say goodbye.
Paesi che non ho mai
veduto e vissuto con te,
adesso sì li vivrò.
Con te partirò
su navi per mari
che, io lo so,
no, no, non esistono più
con te io li rivivrò.
Con te partirò
su navi per mari
che, io lo so,
no, no, non esistono più,
con te io li rivivrò.
Con te partirò.
Io con te

Time to say goodbye (Translation)

When I'm alone
I dream of the horizon
and words fail;
yes, I know there is no light
in a room where the sun is absent,
if you are not here with me.
At the windows
show everyone my heart
which you set alight;
enclose within me
the light you
encountered on the street.
Time to say goodbye.
to countries I never
saw and shared with you,
now, yes, I shall experience them.
I'll go with you
on ships across seas
which, I know,
no, no, exist no longer;
it's time to say goodbye.
When you are far away
I dream of the horizon
and words fail,
and, yes, I know
that you are with me;
you, my moon, are here with me,
my sun, you are here with me
with me, with me, with me.
Time to say goodbye.
I'll go with you
to countries I never
saw and shared with you,
now, yes, I shall experience them.
I'll go with you
on ships across seas
which, I know,
no, no, exist no longer,
with you I shall experience them again.
I'll go with you
on ships across seas
which, I know,
no, no, exist no longer,
with you I shall experience them again.
I'll go with you.
You and me.

My Sacred Life - Day 22

Feeding a Healthy Addiction

So... after a long day at work I went to Michael's to pick up some fall foliage for some projects... and guess what!?!?!?! All their fall seasonal items were 50% off. *HAPPY DANCE*
So... not only do I have enough to finish my current project... but at least enough for the next 3!
Crafting is therepy for me as much as it's fun and entertaining. I usually craft in my room with incense, candles and some good music to keep me company and my muses happy. It makes me happy.

Words that amaze me...

Seek the wisdom
that will untie your knot
seek the path
that demands your whole being.
Leave that which is not, but appears
to be
seek that which is, but is
not apparent.
- Rumi

Through love,
Disaster becomes
Good fortune.
Through love,
A prison becomes
A garden.
-Rumi

I searched for God and found only myself. I searched for myself and found only God
-Sufi proverb

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affect ion.
-Buddha

Buddhist Forgiveness Prayer
If I have harmed anyone, in any way, either knowingly or unknowingly through my own confusions, I ask forgiveness.
If anyone has harmed me, in any way, either knowingly or unknowingly through their own confusions, I forgive them.
And if there is a situation that I am not ready to forgive, I forgive myself for that.
For all the ways that I harm myself,
negate, doubt, belittle myself, judge or be unkind to myself
through my own confusions,
I forgive myself.

Earth teach me quiet ~ as the grasses are still with new light.
Earth teach me suffering ~ as old stones suffer with memory.
Earth teach me humility ~ as blossoms are humble with beginning.
Earth teach me caring ~ as mothers nurture their young.
Earth teach me courage ~ as the tree that stands alone.
Earth teach me limitation ~ as the ant that crawls on the ground.
Earth teach me freedom ~ as the eagle that soars in the sky.
Earth teach me acceptance ~ as the leaves that die each fall.
Earth teach me renewal ~ as the seed that rises in the spring.
Earth teach me to forget myself ~ as melted snow forgets its life.
Earth teach me to remember kindness ~ as dry fields weep with rain.
-Ute Prayer

Laughter from one of my fave movies... and I freely and open heartedly admit - I love Drop Dead Fred!



One of Your Smiles - Dierdre (Dubois)

I wish I knew what to call that place
Deep in the core of my within
For once I was like the ocean
And that's where you would always begin
You are more than the ocean
You are more than the moon
You are more like the stars in the sky
While you are wearing one of your smiles
And if I tried to see you now
You'd be dancing across the sky
And you'd be wearing your gypsy clothes
You'd be wearing one of your smiles

You are more than the ocean
You are more than the moon
You are more like the stars in the sky
While you are wearing one of your smiles
Something so pure about the love you gave
Nothing I know defines
You seem to drift but you carry me
While you are wearing one of your smiles
You are more than the ocean
You are more than the moon
You are more like the stars in the sky
While you are wearing one of your smiles
Ten thousand miles couldn't keep you
For you were more like the wind
All my life I will seek you
Deep in the core of my within
And if I tried to see you now
You'd be dancing across the sky
And you'd be wearing your gypsy clothes
And You'd be wearing one of your smiles
One of your smiles
Oh one of your smiles

My Sacred Life - Day 21

Who I Was*Who I am*Who I Will Be

While having break with a coworker this past week, the subject of change came up. She's been thinking about looking for work elsewhere and is frustrated with the prospects with limited experience and education. As we continued talking, regret and "what if" entered the conversation. She asked me what I wanted to do, if time and money weren't an issue. What kind of job would I want. What changed would I make if I could go back and change certain choices or take opportunities I hadn't.
I said I wanted to be happy but I find more and more that happy is a choice. It's not so much as having things or a high paying job (thought that's a fun thought), for me, as it is feeling that I've done something at the end of the day or that I'm feeding my spirit. I haven't felt very happy with work but I find many moment of happiness while I'm at work. I do believe in the power of positive thinking - tho not that I feel that alone will make the world pretty and perfect - but it can make change and adjustments much more pleasant and peaceful. I think when we bring our best self forward, it ripples. The whole idea of moving forward with grace... or moving forward, kicking and screaming and the top of your lungs. Either way - time moves on. Somehow, with the "fullness" of life, I could do without kicking and screaming. hehehe
When I think of going back to change things or regrets... I can say with a pretty quick response - no, I would not. I have some regrets, minor... wishing I had spent more time with a friends or loved ones who've crossed over, slowing down and being present - enjoying the moment. But as far as BIG changes - no. I have made some horrendous mistakes... perhaps mistakes aren't the right word... some bad choices that have taught me invaluable lessons. All of the things I've done, experienced and the choices I've made by my own free will are my responsibility and my gift... and all these things make up the sum of who I am today. I like myself. I am learning how to love myself.
My twenties were about ego, arrogance and falling on my face... picking myself up and falling again. When I think back to the person I was... there are some wonderful memories and things I embrace. There are also many shadows and less than nice, kind or courteous moments. Not having much life experience in the real world and thinking that I had everything figured out (insert HUGE laughter here). The future seemed so far away and I felt like I had time. Time to experiment, find myself and sometimes be careless and thoughtless.
My thirties started with a huge reality check. Though I've worked since I was 13, I wasn't wise with my money throughout my teens and twenties. I used my credit to keep us above the water for a time but really, some really bad spending choices as well. I went through a Chapter 13 and hit a low that I thought I would never experience. Financial reality, responsibility, consequence... so much and although there were times at that point, I remember hoping I wouldn't wake up when I went to bed... now... now - I see that this was probably the most incredible gift. I had to look at my life... I had to look at my choices... I had to think of the future... I had to be realistic... I had to wake up. I put one foot in front of the other and moved... slowly but forward. I started looking at what I wanted to manifest and what no longer serves me. I had to make changes - cut unhealthy habits and people out of my life and build on all the healthy blessings I had but perhaps never appreciated until everything burst. It was like a dam breaking... all the water ... all the emotion. I can honestly say that before this happened, it was like my life was a black and white photo. After... it became color.
Thank Goddess that I've collected a tiny bit common sense and a teaspoon of wisdom.
So... bad choices - hell yeah. But again, I don't think I'd appreciate life as I have it now, had I not been gifted with choice and the choices I've made.
It's also made the process of making choices a bit easier, sometimes no less painful, but a little life experience goes a long way.
I went through a box of photos I hadn't visited in a long time and through a collage of myself. Different ages and mindsets... but all me. There are some images that I embrace and a few that are very hard to look at. But it's me... light, dark and in between and... thankfully, growing.

32 Flavors - Ani Defranco

squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
and I'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you're going to get hungry
and eat most of the words you just said
both my parents taught me about good will
and I have done well by their names
just the kindness I've lavished on strangers
is more than I can explain
still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
just so I would think they were not home
and hid in the dark of their windows
til I'd passed and left them alone
and god help you if you are an ugly girl
course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room
and god help you if you are a pheonix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying back
I'm not trying to give my life meaning
by demeaning you
and I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that I'm a saint
I just don't want to live that way
no, I will never be a saint
but I will always say
squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cause someday you might find you're starving
and eating all of the words you said

My Sacred Life - Day 20

I found this photo online under a "rain" search.

I didn't do anything but listen to the rain, listen to music, write and think about my week. I didn't take a photo, hence the web photo - which I love.
I absolutely LOVE rain.
When I was growing up in IL, we would have the most incredible storms - lightning, thunder, rain... and it was so wonderful. It was like another world. I loved the flashes of light illuminating the room, the roar of the storm and later the rain... as if to wash all the noise, grime and anger away leaving a song... a soothing song that I'd try to stay awake and listen to but always being lulled to sleep.
I've always been in love with rain as early as I can remember. It's not an odd sight to see me whirling around outside during a rainstorm... tho some would find that an odd behavior altogether I suppose. It's soothing, cleansing and brings my senses alive. The feel, the taste, the sound, the shimmering drops... and always... always the lovely scent afterwards. It renews my hope somehow... it grasps me and demands that I be present and listen. Be still, listen... and be aware. I am usually stuck with the need to write or work with my hands when it rains. It's as if the muses ignite all these thoughts and a million lightbulbs go on... and sometimes - it's just to lie and listen... which was much of the case yesterday.
I thought about my month and all the wonderful things I had been able to accomplish... not at all all those little things that didn't get done, or "failures" or anything "negative".
Little victories that make me happy...
-Reservations made/confirmed for Pantheacon
-Conf that a great number of my family from WA will be attending Pantheacon...
*I can already hear the odd conversations and insane laughter with Gaelan after long days of deep connections thru ritual, lectures, presentations, writing, singing/chant and dance... yay. Thank Gods for laughter... beautiful medicine and sacred indeed.
-An extended weekend in the near future
-Care packages sent out
-Walking with the divine among the ancient trees several times
-Moving out of my comfort zone... and letting go
-Surrender
So so much... just feeling blessed and so grateful.

Language just doesn't express... a lovely day... much needed introspection... beautiful reminder to make time to be still.

But Not Tonight - Depeche Mode

Oh God, it's raining
But I'm not complaining
It's filling me up
With new life
The stars in the sky
Bring tears to my eyes
They're lighting my way
Tonight
And I haven't felt so alive
In years
Just for a day
On a day like today
I'll get away from this
Constant debauchery
The wind in my hair
Makes me so aware
How good it is to live
Tonight
And I haven't felt so alive
In years
The moon
Is shining in the sky
Reminding me
Of so many other nights
But they're not like tonight
Oh God, it's raining
And I'm not containing
My pleasure at being
So wet
Here on my own
All on my own
How good it feels to be alone
Tonight
And I haven't felt so alive
In years
The moon
Is shining in the sky
Reminding me
Of so many other nights
When my eyes have been so red
I've been mistaken for dead
But not tonight

My Sacred Life - Day 19

Gift from the garden

The Rose - Bette Midler

Some say love it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razer
that leaves your soul to blead
Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed
It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of wakingthat never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give
and the soul afraid of dyingthat never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winterfar beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed
that with the sun's love
in the spring
becomes the rose

My Sacred Life - Day 19

Greeting the morning

One of the things I love about my job is that it's tucked away near some mountains and trees. I usually take my first break to catch the sun as he begins his journey.
This morning I spent a good portion of it watching three hummingbirds feed, fly and play. I rarely see them together and two in particular seemed to be playing tag. It was a beautiful way to start the day.

Hummingbirds - Venus Hum

some of my favourite colours in the world
beat against my eyelids
with the blues of green hummingbirds
some of my favourite colours in the world
beat against my eyelids
with the reds of pink hummingbirds
blue moon, so white
so scared to come out tonight
it's too dark for him
he's just a boy with a man's grin
crane and the swan
wingspan across lake's silver light
the ivory night
some of my favourite colours in the world
beat against my eyelids
with the blues of green hummingbirds
some of my favourite colours in the world
beat against my eyelids
with the reds of pink hummingbirds
godiva girl
swimming in chocolate
winged foil heart cardinals
oh, but february stopped it
red bird scared white
she's just a girl with a woman's smile
crane and the swan
wingspan across green apple ponds
and red apple skies
some of my favourite colours in the world
beat against my eyelids
with the blues of green hummingbirds
some of my favourite colours in the world
beat against my eyelids
with the reds of pink hummingbirds
with the reds of pink hummingbirds
(hummingbirds...)
i want to be mean
i want to be queen
i want to be marvelous
paint me the colors of...
some of my favorite colors in the world
beat against my eyelids
with the blues of green hummingbirds
some of my favorite colors in the world
beat against my eyelids
with the reds of pink hummingbirds

My Sacred Life - Day 18

When I was little, I loved receiving mail. It was always fun to run to the mailbox and scramble through the envelopes and if there were one for me... wooohoooo, it was like I had won the lottery!
As an adult, I love to get mail! Some things just don't change... well, perhaps I should state with the exception of bills.
I use email for work and a means of quick communication but there's something about writing a letter... handwriting - what a concept or picking out a card. Stationary is a downfall for me... one of my many which also include office supplies, kitchenware and power tools. Go figure.
I often will go to a stationary shop and make a huge purchase because I'll find cards that call to me. I may not have a person in mind at that particular time, but I know it'll find the right person at the right time.


Love Letters - Alison Moyet (cover version)

Love letters straight
From your heart
Keep us so near
While apart
I'm not alone in the night
When I can have all the love
That you write
I memorize every line
And I kiss the name
That you sign
And darling then
I read again
Right from the start
Love letters straight
From your heart
I memorize every line
And I kiss the name
That you sign
And darling then
I read again
Right from the start
Love letters straight
From your heart

... and here's the video! :) Gotta love the big 80s hair!

My Sacred Life - Day 17

I took a personal day off to drive up the coast, talk to the trees and read some poetry.
Sacred hookey. The little kid in me was quite giddy.
I needed a day away and without commitments - to think, rethink and let go.
I picked up this bouquet of sunflowers on my way home.
They just make me smile.

That's All That I Want From You - Nina Simone

A little love that slowly
grows and grows
Not one that comes and goes
That's all I want from you
A sunny day with hopes up
to the skies
Not a day that comes and
dies
That's all I want from you
Don't let me down, oh show
me that you care
Remember when you give, you
also get your share
Don't let me down, I have
no time to wait
Tomorrow might not come,
when dreamers dream too late
A little love that slowly
grows and grows
Not one that comes and goes
That's all I want from you
A sunny day with hopes up
to the skies
Not one that comes and dies
That's all I want from you
Don't let me down, oh show
me that you care
Remember when you give, you
also get your share
Don't let me down, I have
no time to wait
Tomorrow might not come,
when dreamers dream too late
A little love that slowly
grows and grows
Not one that comes and goes
That's all I want from you

My Sacred Life - Day 16

Expression
I love forms of expression. Music, poetry, writing, crafting... it's a way to reconnect, look at different views, and sometimes step back into yourself or meet a part of yourself that is starting to wake... or change.
I like keeping my hands busy. I like to create things... it's therepy and it's also a part of me. An extension, expression and need I have. It is a blessing to find outlets to renew faith, spirit and joy.

New Song - Howard Jones

I've been waiting for so long
To come here now and sing this song
Don't be fooled by what you see
Don't be fooled by what you hear
This is a song to all my friends
They take the challenge to their hearts
Challenging preconceived ideas
Saying goodbye to long standing fears
Don't crack up
Bend your brain
See both sides
Throw off your mental chains
I don't wanna be hip and cool
I don't wanna play by the rules
Not under the thumb of the cynical few
Or laden down by the doom crew

My Sacred Life - Day 15

I wasn't able to post a few days ago.
I found this photo while flipping through some files of past trips I've taken. It was taken in one of the cemetaries in Everett on my first trip to WA. It strikes me on many levels because of the contrasts... the crypt, the chain, the lock and the flowers - dried. Equally are the complex feelings I experience when I compare this to how some of my past choices reflect a certain similar feeling of longing, sadness and haunting. It's funny how some issues seem to manifest when you think you're on top of things and then.. wham.
My weekend was less than gracefull. All of my close connections are with women. I know this is hugely because of my connection with my feminine side, ability to express my emotions freely and the intimacy level that I am able to give and receive.
I have issues with men on the intimacy level of relationship. It's very hard for me to let my guard down or interact with men.... not to mention trust issues. I've longed for male companionship, a good friend with whom I can trust, be myself with and share with. At the same time, that terrifies me. I've been chatting with a an online pal I made a month or so ago who's local and shares many interest. I had the opprotunity to meet him and have lunch. It was a tentative meeting and I had thought how nice it would be to sit face to face, talk and be able to see his eyes when talking. Eyes are a big thing for me and I love talking with friends or loved ones so I can see their expressions, eyes and feel their energy. It's different from online or the phone. As the day came closer and closer, I began to feel an apprehension. A want to hide. I think... no, I know... that on a subconscious level, I decided that I would not meet him. He called Sunday afternoon as he said he would. I was in the other room and when I realized it was him... I just froze. I wanted to answer the phone, I should have answered the phone... but I didn't.
I felt disappointed in myself. Not for just for not answering but for the obviously blatent rudeness of not answering. These are MY issues. I know this... I know this... but my heart and mind were on such different pages - different books. I'm an honest person but I felt anything but honest and so small and just wrong. Still, I didn't answer.
I wrote a letter later that evening explaining, very honestly, some of my issues and how regardless of my issues, it was no excuse to be rude.
I did receive a response the next day and was so warmed by his words and understanding. He expressed that he wanted to get to know me and develop the friendship we've begun online. I'm relieved and scared... and still profoundly disappointed in myself.
I hate disappointment.
It was a HUGE step backwards.
I didn't post because I felt a bit too much and words didn't come... or they came but not in a stream of reason or sense... just words. Words fail.
I'm sitting with this and am feeling better, still a bit raw but better.
I realize I will step back from time to time and won't always be the person I'd always like to be... and I need to embrace the lesson and not the negative. Growth and gifts are definitely not always comfortable... but beautiful for what they are. Ouch.

Another Mystery - Dar Williams

Get off your cat walk, I want you to talk
To be the seer instead of the seen
There is a flower, a leaning tower
And all of the wonders standing between
I don’t want to be another mystery oh no
I don’t want to see who’s looking at me oh no
I want to be the one to feel the sun oh oh
So if you want to see the world with me let’s go
The alligator, the God that made her
And all the creatures that got left behind
In mycnnae, ave maria
And everything you gotta dig harder to find
I don’t want to be a vapor of heavenly light
Everybody guess if I’m an angel or sprite
I don’t want to be another mystery oh no
I don’t want to see who’s looking at me oh no
I want to be the one to feel the sun oh oh
So if you want to see the world with me let’s go
You could pursue it, hell I could do it
I’ll just be quiet when I get angry and hurt
I’m stopping traffic, cinemagraphic
With my long black coat hanging down in the dirt
And my hair clinging to my face in the rain
Like a goddess from the cult of beautiful pain
I don’t want to be another mystery
I don’t want to be another mystery
I could cut you off with a shoulder of stone
Smoke all night and leave the party alone
Screw myself with an inscrutable pout
But I just want you to come figure me out
I don’t want to be another mystery oh no
I don’t want to see who’s looking at me oh no
I want to be the one to feel the sun oh oh
So if you want to see the world with me let’s go
I don’t want to be another mystery

My Sacred Life - Day 14

What a wonderful Saturday afternoon!
It was one of those days where neither of us had plans and wanted to roam about. We set off early in the afternoon with no particular destination and hopped from shops to bakeries and coffee and ending with groceries. I snapped this photo at Mountain Mike's where we waited for her combo and my veggie pizzas... yum-o and no cooking or dishes for me. YAY.
I love spending time with my Mom. I'm not only blessed to have her as my Mom but also my best friend. When I think of her, I think of the person I'd most like to be. She is and has always been my hero.
Whenever I think of her... I think unconditional love. She's strong, warm, sensitive and wise. Her laughter is like music and her words ring with truth.
I love the lines on her face... signs of a life lived full with integrity, kindness and continuing growth. She hates her wrinkles... I love them. Besides... I think I'm a cause for a good number of them! :)
It's funny how our roles have changed over the past 10 years. I love caring for her, though she's not your typical seventy something. She' active, quick and in all honesty as sharp as she was when she was 50. Of course there are changes and it's still difficult for her to acknowledge some of the shifts and physical limitations. She's always been very independent and is starting, reluctantly, to ask for more help. I think she sometimes feels that she bothers me. That couldn't be further from the truth. I love that she's with me. I love our relationship. I love spending time with her. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have loved one's who aren't close with their mothers, who lost their mothers when they were young or don't have a healthy relationship with them. When they meet her, they can't believe how close we are. How much alike we are... which always gets both our goats. lol Regardless of age, I will always be her baby as she says. I have to admit, I don't mind that at all.
My heart is full tonight... full of gratitude, joy and warmth... words can't express.

Under the Skin - Olivia Newton John

Don't believe the mirror
Cause mirrors sometimes lie
If you wanna see
the way you look to me
look into my eyes
you are beautiful to me
from without and from within
you are beautiful to me
under the skin
when i tell you that you're special
you don't believe it's true
you only see what's changed
but to me you're still the same
there's no one quite like you
you are beautiful to me
from without and from within
you are beautiful to me
under the skin
like a morning rose
reaching for the sun
from without and from within
you are beautiful to me
under the skin
under the skin

My Sacred Life - Day 13

Happiness finds you if you let it.


Words that move me...

If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.
-Thich Nhat Hanh

With humility comes the willingness to stop trying to control or change other people or life situations or events ostensibly 'for their own good'. To be a committed spiritual seeker, it is necessary to relinquish the desire to be 'right' or of imaginary value to society. In fact, nobody's ego or belief systems are of any value to society at all. The world is neither good nor bad nor defective, nor is it in need of help or modification because its appearance is only a projection of one's own mind. No such world exists.
David R. Hawkins

See if you can catch yourself complaining in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.
-Eckhart Tolle

Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question . . . Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.
-Carlos Castaneda

Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.
-James Allen

Heaven on Earth is a choice you must make, not a place you must find.
-Wayne Dyer

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
-Marcel Proust

To touch the soul of another human being is to walk on holy ground.
-Stephen Covey

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.
-Dalai Lama

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we have learned here. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts.
-Marianne Williamson

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.
-Stephen Vincent Benet

We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.
-Stephen Covey

Hold up your hands before your eyes.
You are looking at the hands of God.
-Rabbi Lawrence Kushner

Right now, and in every now-moment, you are either closing or opening. You are either stressfully waiting for something - more money, security, affection - or you are living from your deep heart, opening as the entire moment, and giving what you most deeply desire to give, without waiting.
-David Deida

When we leave this world, how much we have loved will be our true legacy. It is the only thing we will leave behind and carry with us.
-Anne Siloy

When we avoid the legitimate suffering that results from dealing with problems, we also avoid the growth that problems demand from us.
-Scott Peck

Past and future are in the mind only - I am now.
-Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

There comes a time when the pain of continuing exceeds the pain of stopping. At that moment, a threshold is crossed. What seemed unthinkable becomes thinkable. Slowly, the realization emerges that the choice to continue what you have been doing is the choice to live in discomfort, and the choice to stop what you have been doing is the choice to breathe deeply and freely again. Once that realization has emerged, you can either honor it or ignore it, but you cannot forget it. What has become known can not become unknown again.
-Gary Zukav

The lust for comfort murders the passions of the soul.
-Kahlil Gibran

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
-Mother Teresa

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.
-Thomas Merton

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
-Dalai Lama

You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.
-Paulo Coelho

Everyday, God gives us the sun - and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything...
-Paulo Coelho

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
-Dalai Lama

In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
-Deepak Chopra

It's also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that's sitting right here right now... with its aches and it pleasures... is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.
-Pema Chodron

Awake. Be the witness of your thoughts. You are what observes, not what you observe.
-Buddha

You must understand the whole of life, not just
one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing and dance, and write poems, and suffer, and understand, for all that is life.
-Jiddu Krishnamurti

To undertake a genuine spiritual path is not to avoid difficulties but to learn the art of making mistakes wakefully, to bring them to the transformative power of our heart.
-Jack Kornfield

The mistake people make is to wait for something to happen to them before they begin searching. They want the voice of God, or something, to tell them to get started. Or maybe they know they should be doing something but they procrastinate, hoping that tomorrow they'll have more conviction and be more determined. What they forget is there may be no tomorrow for them.
-Richard Rose

Most people tell you they want to get out of kindergarten, but don't believe them. Don't believe them! All they want you to do is to mend their broken toys. "Give me back my wife. Give me back my job. Give me back my money. Give me back my reputation, my success." This is what they want; they want their toys replaced. That's all. Even the best psychologist will tell you that, that people don't really want to be cured. What they want is relief; a cure is painful.
-Anthony De Mello

Love is misunderstood to be an emotion; actually, it is a state of awareness, a way of being in the world, a way of seeing oneself and others.
-David R. Hawkins

The game is not about becoming somebody, it's about becoming nobody.
-Ram Dass

Know that you can not help but judge. What you then do with your judgment is the choice.
-Story Waters

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live in every experience, painful or joyous, to live in gratitude for every moment, to live abundantly.
-Dorothy Thompson

"Why is everyone here so happy except me?"
"Because they have learned to see goodness and beauty everywhere," said the Master.
"Why don't I see goodness and beauty everywhere?"
"Because you cannot see outside of you what you fail to see inside."
-Anthony De Mello

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors.
Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits.
Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.
-Gandhi

All attack is a call for help.
-Neale Donald Walsch


Non-Duality

The bell tolls at four in the morning.
I stand by the window,
barefoot on the cool floor.
The garden is still dark.
I wait for the mountains and rivers to reclaim their shapes.
There is no light in the deepest hours of the night.
Yet, I know you are there
in the depth of the night,
the immeasurable world of the mind.
You, the known, have been there
ever since the knower has been.

The dawn will come soon,
and you will see
that you and the rosy horizon
are within my two eyes.
It is for me that the horizon is rosy
and the sky blue.
Looking at your image in the clear stream,
you answer the question by your very presence.
Life is humming the song of the non-dual marvel.
I suddenly find myself smiling
in the presence of this immaculate night.
I know because I am here that you are there,
and your being has returned to show itself
in the wonder of tonight's smile.
In the quiet stream,
I swim gently.
The murmur of the water lulls my heart.
A wave serves as a pillow
I look up and see
a white cloud against the blue sky,
the sound of Autumn leaves,
the fragrance of hay-
each one a sign of eternity.
A bright star helps me find my way back to myself.

I know because you are there that I am here.
The stretching arm of cognition
in a lightning flash,
joining together a million eons of distance,
joining together birth and death,
joining together the known and the knower.

In the depth of the night,
as in the immeasurable realm of consciousness,
the garden of life and I
remain each other's objects.
The flower of being is singing the song of emptiness.

The night is still immaculate,
but sounds and images from you
have returned and fill the pure night.
I feel their presence.
By the window, with my bare feet on the cool floor,
I know I am here
for you to be.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

And the song for the day... *drum roll* hehehe

I Shall Be Free
Kid Beyond

One day I went walkin down Lonesome Road
And I came upon a stranger is some funky clothes
He said he was a soldier
I said, where’s your gun
He said, I don't got no weapon and I don't need one
I don't need no weapon cause I don't fight no war
I said, Well than Mr Soldier - what you fighting for
Well he didn't say nothinr> He just smiled at me
And then I heard him whisper
You shall be free

Well excuse me mister
Are you sayin I ain't free
Well I don't see no shackles or no chains on me
He said, we're chained to our hatred
and shackled by greed
Too blind to see the wonder and they mystery
We got to love one another
Give our love so strong.
Love your brother man even when he treats you wrong
And when you love without limits
Unconditionally
When you love without fear
then you shall be free

So I pried my heart open
as wide as the sea
And the strangest sensations came over me
I could see the clouds dance
Felt a raindrop sting
I could hear the tiny feet and all the butterfly wings
As I sat in the middle
I felt this love unfold
Love too big for this body to hold
That day I became a warrior
with no enemy
Now I am that funky soldier and I shall be free

Now I ain't afraid of living
and I ain't scared to die
Cause I feel this vibration that I can't deny
I can feel it singing through me
Like a symphony
And it tastes so sweet like destiny
It's in everything I touch
everything I see
It's in every single fiber in my body
Every star
Every creature
Every leaf on every tree
is a lesson and a blessing and we shall be free
I shall
I shall be free

My Sacred Life - Day 12

Altar at work

Though I am at a bit of a crossroads with my job, there are still many beautiful things that I love about... things I sometimes forget.
I work with a very large interpretation company and of course, with all big companies - the bottom line is money. There have been so many changes, many of them that really don't sit well with me. Layoffs, outsourcing, loss of many qualified and dedicated interpreters... not to mention the management/corporate drama.
I love what I do because I directly assist in communication, many times in emergency situation. I've had interpreters call me in tears telling me that "I just delivered a baby!" Of course, there are moments where it breaks your heart when the news isn't good... but just the same, it's communication. Celebration, closure, assistance... it's about connection and getting something important done with heart. I love that. I love that our job makes a difference.
I've had many less than graceful days over the past month and though I know something must change, I'm a little lost and caught in the middle.
I have an altar at my desk, though most people would think it's a few nick nacks... it makes a huge difference in my day. It consists of my loved ones photos, my little skunk figurine who reminds me to keep my boundaries, Kuan Yin who reminds me to embrace compassion as gracefully as possible, Green Tara to overcome dangers, fears and anxieties, and to overcome the most difficult of situations, my silver Om, and of course... my giraffes.

Silence - Aine Minogue

Welcome.. silence... to my place
I've missed you for so long
I sought your face a thousand times in voices loud and strong
In searching for your solitude... I looked and looked without
And where else should I find your face... upon this holy ground.
Now... silence... would you not... spend more time just here
Your breeze is as a lover fine, a lover fine to me
And in the quiet darkness of our sacred place
I'd hold your court and bid you never leave here or away
Through worlds divine and shadows fine and 'cross the seven seas
Forever searching... wanderlust... in hopes of home to see
If... silence... you've a home... a place for us to be
Then glad I'll be your lover true
And go there... go there... with you

Gayatri Mantra

My Sacred Life - Day 11

I was looking through entertainment news out of boredom and read a blurb about Britney Spears. I've never been a big fan of her music and avoid the tabloids but I find it sadly interesting how or society seems to lift people on a pedestal only to tear them down mercilessly and with such passion. I was reading how critics were tearing into her for a video music performance which they had a clip. I think everyone should have an opinion but what really bothered me was the reference to her weight. She looks healthy... not rail thin. The critics were writing as if she was obese.
What kind of message does this send out to young girls (and boys) who look up to her (not that she's the best role model but that's another post for another time). I don't have children but am in "Uncle" to friends children and it scares me. There's so much emphasis on weight, looks and superficial BS that it's no wonder why people feel inferior or unworthy.
I've had a constant struggle with my weight for nearly 30 years. I lost over a hundred pounds in high school in a little over 8 moths with the aid of eating disorders. I had very little self esteem and felt ugly, unworthy and insignificant. No matter how much weight I lost, I only saw a fat person staring back. I didn't see "myself" in the mirror. I don't think I ever really saw myself until I hit 30.
It really bothers me when I hear news or read articles like the above blurb because they can be seeds of years of distorted truths and views for young adults and children. I wholeheartedly believe in teaching children nutrition, fitness and healthy exercise but look at any magazine... any movie, especially for girls. You have to be thin to be beautiful. You have to be thin to have a happy relationship. You have to be thin or no one will accept you. What are we teaching our children?
After all these years, I still have issues with my appearance. The difference is, I love myself now and I'm losing weight in a healthy way and for the right reasons. It's still hard for me to see myself honestly at times. I have a distorted view of what I see.
I started belly dancing a few years ago. I went to some classes and then later continued with DVD instrucional lessons. I do a lot of devotional dance in my spiritual practice. It's as much meditation time for me as much as it is to connect and dance for the divine. I love belly dance because it's empowering. There are dancers of every size and skill level and yet - there's a connection of acceptance, support and growth. It's beautiful and moves me greatly.
Learned behavior takes time to un-learn for lack of words in my head... and I'm okay with that. I'm working on it and moving forward, sometimes with a great big step, sometimes a tiny step and sometimes a step back.
Galean had taken a photo of me last year... my first full body photo in I don't know how long. I remember that I knew I would hate it before I even saw it... but to my surprise, it's probably one of my favorite photos of me. I guess I am moving forward a bit. Yay!


Good Enough - Darren Hayes

If I woke up late
Couldn’t get out of bed
If I bought you a cafe latte instead
If I lied when I said
32 inches was the size of my waist
And can I admit
Every once in a while
Even though I dig alternative style
Occasionally
I can be caught dancin’ to Brittany
And can I confess
That art house doesn’t turn me on
But I like every single thing that Speilberg’s done
Could I be good enough
Could I be good enough
If the going got worse
And the worse got rough
The days became endless
And harder than tough
I’d be good enough
Better than best
Would be simply to be good enough
If everything I give
Doesn’t seem like a lot
If it’s all that I got
Baby tell that could be good enough
Where I grew up
The rent was cheap
Though we always had enough to eat
Didn’t have fancy clothes
I never really cared
'Coz there were shoes on my toes
And motherly love
I knew it like the back of my hand
She always had a way to make me understand
I could be good enough
I could be good enough
If the going got worse
And the worse got rough
The days became endless
And harder than tough
I’d be good enough
Better than best
Would be simply to be good enough
If everything I give
Doesn’t seem like a lot
If it’s all that I got
Baby tell me that could be good enough
Coz I don’t know which way this road is gonna turn
But I know it’s gonna be fine
But there are some days no matter how much I’ve learned
That the road gets tough
And I don’t feel good enough
But if you’re giving me some of that loving
Could you pass some over
Let me cry on your shoulder and tell me baby
I could be good enough
If I lost my job
And my hair fell out
If I made no sense
And I scream and shout
Would you laugh at me?
Never take a word I say seriously
And if I’m out in the cold
Waiting in the back of the line
Too afraid to drop my name for fear of decline
Could you tell me I’m good enough?
Could I be good enough?
If the going got worse
And the worse got rough
The days became endless
And harder than tough
I’d be good enough
Better than best
Would be simply to be good enough
If everything I give
Dosn’t seem like a lot
If it’s all that I’ve got
Baby tell me that could be good enough
I need to know that I could be good enough
Because everybody wants to feel good enough
Show me baby
Tell me
Come on a prove it baby and
Give it to me


And... not to go youtube crazy but...

Rachel Brice


Asharah

My Sacred Life - Day 10

My Heart Sister, Gaelan
Two Peas from the same (alien) pod

Faith - Love - Acceptance - Laughter... lots of laughter

I met Gaelan nearly 5 years ago on a site called Live Journal, another blogging community. I was at a point in my life where I was in the transition of being spiritual person to stepping into a spiritual life. I remember reading her blog and just being amazed by her words, her actions and her views. Her writing was inspirational, funny and human - I just felt a connection. We began communicating and chatting online from time to time. We shared, still do, a mutual friend/sister from LJ, Angel, and I made plans to visit. It occurred to me before flying to Washington... Oh... what if we have nothing to share offline??? We had shared so many thoughts and views on spirituality, it made me wonder if we would have anything more in common. Well... upon arriving in WA and making my way to baggage claim... who do I spy with evil smiles and a little white sign (the kind you see for VIP guests by limo drivers) stating a warm and welcoming... "Yo Bitch!" Any butterflies I had were squashed. LOL
I love Gaelan. She's amazing, strong, intelligent, spiritual, warm, responsible, aware... I could go on and on. She's genuine. I love that.
We have been on an amazing spiritual journey together and have shared our awe, wonder, fear, excitement, questions, doubts and human moments.
We have such a healthy relationship in that we are both honest with one another, we communicate well, we can laugh at ourselves and one another, and we give equally from the heart. When I think of her, I smile. My heart smiles.
She gave me this photo of her and there are times when I am with her that I so clearly see the child laughing in dancing in her eyes. I love her sacred child... she certainly brings mine out.



The Child Inside - Qkumba Zoo

Who's that calling ?
who's that who can show the way ?
the child inside, its the child who lives still in your eyes
ne ho ne ye he hiyo, ne ho ne yehe ha
ne ho ne ye he hiyo, neho neho nehe hehe
who's that dying,
trying for a space in the cage you call your life
who's that crying
crying out just what it is you've thrown away
it's the. . .
the child inside, its the child who lives still in your eyes
ne ho ne ye he hiyo, ne ho ne yehe ha
ne ho ne ye he hiyo, neho neho nehe hehe
who's that dancing
laughing crying living every day by day by day by day
it's the. . .
the child inside, its the child who lives still in your eyes
ne ho ne ye he hiyo, ne ho ne yehe ha
ne ho ne ye he hiyo, neho neho nehe hehe
secret of the sun is in your eyes
take the power from your dreams and fly
children know it's magick that makes the world go round

My Sacred Life - Day 9

You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that.
-Charlotte, "Charlotte's Web" (E.B. White)

I think Charlotte's Web helped me to appreciate the idea of inner beauty as a child and to not judge a book by it's cover. I loved the book and the movie, to this day, makes me weep, laugh and feel a hopefulness. The cycle of life - life, death, rebirth. I watch it from time to time when I need a boost.
Spiders, one of my totems, have always made me a bit uneasy... even with Charlotte! :) I've come quite a way from running away at the sight of them as a child to carefully relocating them out of the house when I see them. I've been told it's quite amusing to see me do this. I won't kill a spider... don't like killing anything for that matter... but with a bit of jumpiness, you can imagine a 250 pound grown man tiptoe around a tiny little creature with a coffee can... hoping beyond hope that the little arachnid won't jump on me. I have to laugh when I think about it.


The Friend Who Stands By

When troubles come your soul to try
You Love the friend who just stands by.
Perhaps there's nothing she can do
The thing is strictly up to you.
For there are troubles all your own
And paths the soul must tread alone.
Times when love can't smooth the road
Nor friendship lift the heavy load.
But just to feel you have a friend
Who will stand by until the end.
Whose sympathy through all endures
Whose warm handclasp is always yours.
It helps somehow to pull you through
Although there's nothing she can do.
And so with fervent heart we cry
God Bless the friend who just stands by.
-Anonymous


Under the Ivy - Kate Bush

It wouldn't take me long
To tell you how to find it
To tell you where we'll meet
This little girl inside me
Is retreating to her favourite place

Go into the garden
Go under the ivy
Under the leaves
Away from the party
Go right to the rose
Go right to the white rose
(For me)

I sit here in the thunder
The green on the grey
I feel it all around me
And it's not easy for me
To give away a secret
It's not safe

But go into the garden
Go under the ivy
Under the leaves
Away from the party
Go right to the rose
Go right to the white rose
(For me)

Go into the garden
Go under the ivy
Go under the leaves with me
Go right to the rose
Go right to the white rose
I'll be waiting for you

It wouldn't take me long
To tell you how to find it