Thursday, October 16, 2008

You have to be present to win - Raffle Reminder

After 4+ months in Snohomish (North of Seattle) with no luck in finding work, I've returned to CA. I have no regrets in trying, was a full experience with joy, laughter, bittersweet tears and so much more that, at this time, are wordless. There are no failures and some of the biggest blessings are the ones that we don't always recognize. I know this yet still my heart is heavy.

Because I can't express my own words at this time... I find many to speak for me...

The Gift
Margaret E. Bruner

Once, long ago, a friend gave me a book
of poems - gems, the fruit of many minds;
I read them, thoughtless of the toil they took
The words moved softly as the stream that winds.

But now I know the lines I glibly read
Perhaps were born of pain - a broken heart;
Regret that followed with its stealthy tread -
the arrow of remorse with a searching dart;

For wisdom comes with Time's stern tutelage;
the years are keys, unlocking many a door;
Now, sometimes as I read, mist blurs the page -
Here, soul meets soul, a precious golden store.



When I Loved Myself Enough - Kim McMillen with Alison McMillen
When I loved myself enough...

When I Loved Myself Enough...

* I quit settling for too little.

* I came to know my own goodness.

* I began taking the gift of life seriously and gratefully.

* I began to know that I was in the right place at the right time and I could relax.

* I felt compelled to slow down, way down and that has made all the difference.

* I bought a feather bed.

* I came tro love being alone surrounded by silence - awed by its spell. listening to inner space.

* I came to see I am not special but I am unique.

* I redifined success and life became simple. Oh, the pleasure in that.

* I came to know I am worthy of knowing God directly.

* I began to see I didn't have to chase after life. If I am quiet and hold still, life comes to me.

* I gave up the belief that life is hard.

* I came to see emotional pain is a signal I am operating outside truth.

* I let the tomboy in me swing off the rope in Jackass Canyon. Yes!

* I learned to meet my own needs and not call it selfish.

* The parts of me long ingnored, the orphans of my soul, quit vying for attention. That wa the beginning of inner peace. Then I began seeing clearly.

* I began to see that desires of the heart do come, and I grew more patient and calm, except when I forget.

* I quit ignoring or tolerating my pain.

* I started feeling all my feelings, not analyzing them - really feeling them. When I do, something amazing happens. Try it. You will see.

* My heart became so tender it could welcome joy and sorrow equally.

* I started meditating everyday. This is a profound act of self love.

* I came to feel like a gift to the world and I collected beautiful ribbons and bows. They still hang on my wall to remind me.

* I learned to ask, "Who in me is feeling this way" when I feel anxious, angry, restless or sad. If I listen patiently I discover who needs my love.

* I no longer need things or people to make me feel safe.

* I quit wishing my life looked some othr way and began to see that as it is, my life serves my evolution.

* I began to comprehend the complexity, mystery, and vastness of my soul. How foolish to think I can know the meaning of another's life.

* I quit projecting my strengths and weaknesses on to others and kept them as my own.

* I began to feel a divine pressence in me and hear its guidance. I am learning to trust this and live from it.

* I quit exhasting myself by trying so hard.

* I began feeling a community within. This inner team with diverse talents and idisyncracies is my strength and my potential. We hold team meetings.

* I stopped blaming myself for choices I had made - which made me feel safe and I took responsability for them.

* I began seeing the abuse in trying to force something or someone who isn't ready - including me.

* I began walking and taking the stairs every chance I get, and choosing the scenic route.

* I became my own authority by listening to the wisdom of my heart. This is how God speaks to me. This is intuition.

* I began feeling such relief.

* The impulsive part of me learned to wait for the right time. Then I became clear and unafraid.

* I began to accept the unacceptable.

* I began to see that my egois part of my soul. WIth this shift in perception it lost its stridency and paranoia and could do its job.

* I would sometimes wake in the night to music playing within me.

* I began leaving whatever wasn't healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits - anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self loving.

* I gave up perfectionism - that killer of joy.

* I could tell the truth about my gifts and my limitations.

* I quit answering the telephone when I don't want to talk.

* Forgiving others became irrelevant.

* I could remember, during times of confusion, struggle or grief, that these too are part of me and deserve my love.

* I could allow my heart to burst wide upen and take in the pain of the world.

* I started picking up litter on the street.

* I could feel God in me and see God in you. That makes us divine! Are you ready for that?

* I started writing about my life and views because I knew this was my right and my responsability.

* I began to see my purpose and gently lean myself from distraction.

* I saw that what I resisted persisted like a small child tugging my skirt. Now I am curious and gentle when resistance comes tugging.

* I learned to stop what I am doing, if even for a moment, and comfort the part of me who is scared.

* I learned to say no when I want to and yes when I want to.

* I saw beyond right and wrong and became neutral. At first I thought this was indifference; now I see the clarity that comes with neutrality.

* I began to feed my hunger for solitude and revel in the inexplicable contentment that is its companion.

* I could see how funny life is, how funny I am and how funny you are.

* I recognized my courage and fear, my naivete and wisdom, and I make a place for each at my table.

* I started treating myself to a massage at least once a month.

* I realized I am never alone.

* I stopped fearing empty time and quit making plans. Now I do what feels right and am in step with my own rhythms. Delicious.

* I quit trying to impress my brother.

* I stopped trying to banish the critical voices from my head. Now I say "Thank you for your views" and they feel heard. End of discussion.

* I let the part of me that still misses Kent feel sad instead of trying to stop her from loving him.

*I began buyinh a Hostess Fruit Pie for the teenager in me who loves them so. Once in a while. Cherry.

* I quit trying to be a saviour for others.

* I lost my fear of speaking my truth for I have come to see how good it is.

* I began pouring my feelings into my journals. These loving companions speak my language. No translation needed.

* I stopped seeing "Experts" and started living my life.

* I came to see how my anger teaches about responsability and my arrogance teaches about humility, so I listen to both carefully.

* I started eating organically grown food (Except for those occasional fruit pies of course).

* I was able to be treated to a $50 haircut and enjoy every minute of it.

* I quit having to be right which makes being wrong meaningless.

* I learned to grieve the hurts in life when they happen instead of making my heart heavy from lugging them around.

*I forgave myself for all the times I thought I wasn't good enough.

* Things got real quiet inside. Nice. Real nice.

* I began listening to the wisdom of my body. It speaks so clearly through its fatigue, sensativities, aversions, and hungers.

* I quit fearing my fear.

*I quit rehashing the past and worrying about the future which keeps me in the present where aliveness lives.

* I realized my mind can torment and deceive me, but in the service of my heart it is a great and noble ally.

* I began to taste freedom.

* I found my voice and wrote this little book.


Let the trees be consulted before you take any action
every time you breathe in thank a tree
let tree roots crack parking lots at the world bank headquarters
let loggers be druids specially trained and rewarded
to sacrifice trees at auspicious times let carpenters be master artisans
let lumber be treasured like gold let chainsaws be played like saxophones
let soldiers on maneuvers plant trees give police and criminals a shovel
and a thousand seedlings let businessmen carry pocketfuls of acorns
let newlyweds honeymoon in the woods
walk don't drive
stop reading newspapers
stop writing poetry
squat under a tree and tell stories
-John Wright

Give us hearts to understand;
Never to take from creation's beauty more than we give;
never to destroy wantonly for the furtherance of greed;
Never to deny to give our hands for the building of earth's beauty;
never to take from her what we cannot use.
Give us hearts to understand
That to destroy earth's music is to create confusion;
that to wreck her appearance is to blind us to beauty;
That to callously pollute her fragrance is to make a house of stench;
that as we care for her she will care for us.
We have forgotten who we are.
We have sought only our own security.
We have exploited simply for our own ends.
We have distorted our knowledge.
We have abused our power.
Great Spirit, whose dry lands thirst,
Help us to find the way to refresh your lands.
Great Spirit, whose waters are choked with debris and pollution,
help us to find the way to cleanse your waters.
Great Spirit, whose beautiful earth grows ugly with misuse,
help us to find the way to restore beauty to your handiwork.
Great Spirit, whose creatures are being destroyed,
help us to find a way to replenish them.
Great Spirit, whose gifts to us are being lost in selfishness and corruption,
help us to find the way to restore our humanity.
Oh, Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the wind,
whose breath gives life to the world, hear me;
I need your strength and wisdom. May I walk in Beauty.
-Big Thunder

Mother, Father, God, Goddess, Universal Power.
Remind us daily of the sanctity of all life.
Touch our hearts with the glorious oneness of all creation.
As we strive to respect all the living beings on this planet.
Penetrate our souls with the beauty of this earth,
As we attune ourselves to the rhythm and flow of the seasons.
Awaken our minds, with the knowledge to achieve a world in perfect harmony
And grant us the wisdom to realize that we can have heaven on earth.
-Jo Poore


Four Elements Medicine Wheel
Ralph Metzner

O Great Spirit of the North,
Invisible Spirit of the Air,
And of the fresh, cool winds,
O vast and boundless Grandfather Sky,
Your living breath animates all life.
Yours is the power of clarity and strength,
Power to hear the inner sounds,
To sweep out the old patterns,
And to bring change and challenge,
The ecstasy of movement and the dance.
We pray that we may be aligned with you,
So that your power may flow through us,
And be expressed by us,
For the good of this planet,
And all living beings upon it.
O Great Spirit of the West,
Spirit of the Great Waters,
Of rain, rivers, lakes and springs.
O Grandmother Ocean
Deep matrix, womb of all life.
Power to dissolve boundaries,
To release holdings,
Power to taste and to feel,
To cleanse and to heal,
Great blissful darkness of peace.
We pray that we may be aligned with you,
So that your powers may tlow through us,
And be expressed by us,
For the good of this planet,
And all living beings upon it.
O Great Spirit of the East,
Radiance of the rising Sun,
Spirit of new beginnings,
O Grandfather Fire, Great nuclear fire -- of the Sun.
Power of life-energy, vital spark,
Power to see far, and to
Imagine with boldness.
Power to purify our senses,
Our hearts and our minds.
We pray that we may be aligned with you,
So that your powers may flow through us,
And be expressed by us,
For the good of this planet Earth,
And all living beings upon it.
O Great Spirit of the South,
Protector of the fruitful land,
And of all green and growing things,
The noble trees and grasses,
Grandmother Earth, Soul of Nature.
Great power of the receptive,
Of nurturance and endurance,
Power to grow and bring forth Flowers of the field,
Fruits of the garden.
We pray that we may be aligned with you,
So that your powers may flow through us,
And be expressed by us,
For the good of this planet Earth,
And all living beings upon it.

Ojibwa Prayer

Look at our brokenness.
We know that in all creation
Only the human family
Has strayed from the Sacred Way.
We know that we are the ones
Who are divided
And we are the ones
Who must come back together
To walk in the Sacred Way.
Sacred One,
Teach us love, compassion, and honor
That we may heal the earth
And heal each other.


When the animals come to us,
asking for our help,
will we know what they are saying?
When the plants speak to us,
in their delicate, beautiful language,
will we be able to answer them?
When the planet herself
sings to us in our dreams,
will we be able to wake ourselves,
and act?
-Gary Lawless

took the dream
of the land
who staked down "private property"
through the soul of the deer
diverted streams
cleared forests
burned fields
seek to know
my own name
seek to know
after all that i have done
to hurt her
does the Mother continue
to embrace me
-Charlie Mehrhoff


Wendell Berry

I part the out thrusting branches
and come in beneath
the blessed and the blessing trees.
Though I am silent
there is singing around me.
Though I am dark
there is vision around me.
Though I am heavy
there is flight around me.

Wherever you are is home
And the earth is paradise
Wherever you set your feet is holy land . . .
You don't live off it like a parasite.
You live in it, and it in you,
Or you don't survive.
And that is the only worship of God there is.
-Wilfred Pelletier and Ted Poole

I'm Going to Plant a Heart in the Earth
I'm going to plant a heart in the Earth
water it with love from a vein.
I'm going to praise it with the push of muscle
and care for it in the sound of all dimensions.
I'm going to leave a heart in the Earth
so it may grow and flower
a heart that throbs with longing
that adores everything green
that will be strength and nourishment for birds
that will be the sap of plants and mountains.
-Rosario Murillo


J. Daniel Beaudry

Tree, gather up my thoughts
like the clouds in your branches.
Draw up my soul
like the waters in your root.
In the arteries of your trunk
bring me together.
Through your leaves
breathe out the sky.

A Blessing for the Woods
Michael S. Glaser

Before I leave, almost without noticing,
before I cross the road and head toward
what I have intentionally postponed—
Let me stop to say a blessing for these woods:
for crows barking and squirrels scampering,
for trees and fungus and multi-colored leaves,
for the way sunlight laces with shadows
through each branch and leaf of tree,
for these paths that take me in,
for these paths that lead me out.


The Weeping Tree
Kathleen Lohr

When the wild mouths
of first love promise
the willow listens.
The earth tastes of silence
and grey swings creak
on butter-soft porches
phrases sway
then fall like feathers
and the willow listens.
While babies smell of jazz
their cries like small mice
in the jasmine silvered nights
and the lights surrounded by moths
whose wings flutter
uncertain on the edges of black
the willow listens.
Inside bricked rooms
when grampa lays
aside his coffee spoon
because the moon is made
of blue cheese
not green
the willow listens.
Sides are chosen
no matter which
it's the spirit of the thing
and still the willow
with its branches bent
the tips brushing the grass
like loving brooms
listens, listens.
As time is laid aside
like pine cones
that roll on empty roofs
over evening shutters
or morning lace
when the children say
see, see the willow tree
the willow still listens
and weeps.



The Bridge Builder
Will Allen Dromgoole

An old man, going a lone highway,
Came, at the evening, cold and gray,
To a chasm, vast, and deep, and wide,
Through which was flowing a sullen tide.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim;
The sullen stream had no fears for him;
But he turned, when safe on the other side,
And built a bridge to span the tide.
"Old man," said a fellow pilgrim, near,
"You are wasting strength with building here;
Your journey will end with the ending day;
You never again must pass this way;
You have crossed the chasm, deep and wide--
Why build you the bridge at the eventide?"
The builder lifted his old gray head:
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today
A youth, whose feet must pass this way.
This chasm, that has been naught to me,
To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
Good friend, I am building the bridge for him."

Who Are My People?
Rosa Zagnoni Marinoni

My people? Who are they?
I went into the church where the congregation
Worshiped my God. Were they my people?
I felt no kinship to them as they knelt there.
My people! Where are they?
I went into the land where I was born,
Where men spoke my language…
I was a stranger there.
“My people,” my soul cried. “Who are my people?”
Last night in the rain I met an old man
Who spoke a language I do not speak,
Which marked him as one who does not know my God.
With apologetic smile he offered me
The shelter of his patched umbrella.
I met his eyes… And then I knew…


A long time have I lived with you
And now we must be going
Separately to be together.
Perhaps I shall be the wind
To blur your smooth waters
So that you do not see your face too much.
Perhaps I shall be the star
To guide your uncertain wings
So that you have direction in the night.
Perhaps I shall be the fire
To separate your thoughts
So that you do not give up.
Perhaps I shall be the rain
To open up the earth
So that your seed may fall.
Perhaps I shall be the snow
To let your blossoms sleep
So that you may bloom in spring.
Perhaps I shall be the stream
To play a song on the rock
So that you are not alone.
Perhaps I shall be a new mountain
So that you always have a home.
-Nancy Wood

The first step in the journey is to lose your way. - Galway Kinnell

A freind is someone who reaches for your hand... and touches yor heart. - unknown

Each person represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. - Anais Nin

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are, and then wait to hear the answer. - Ed Cunningham

A soul friend is someone with whom we can share our greatest joys and deepest fears, confess our worst sins and most persistent faults, clarify our highest hopes and perhaps most unarticulated dreams. - Edward C. Sellner

Eventually, it's the silences which make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying, but the never needing to say. - Margaret Lee Runbeck

To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart, and to sing it to them when they have forgotten. - Thomas Chandler

Our greatest duty and our main duty is to help others, and please, if you can't help them, would you please nothurt them? - The Dali Lama

Invocation of Kali
Mary Sarton

Kali, be with us.
Violence, destruction, receive our homage,
Help us bring darkness into the light,
To lift out the pain, the anger,
Where is can be seen for what it is -
The balance-wheel for our vulnerable, arching love.
Put the wild hunger where it belongs,
Within the act of creation,
Crude power that forges a balance
Between hate and love.
Help us to be the always hopeful
Gardeners of the spirit
Who knows that without darkness
Nothing comes to birth
As without light
Nothing flowers.
Bear the roots in mind,
You, the dark one, Kali
Awesome power

Ofra Haza - Kaddish